Wait...what?

Racism

Sun, 22 Jan 2012 14:56:53 -0500

My friends and I were on the topic of racism and supremacy and Liz was chiming in and listening in. And liz was commenting on how she gets confused when it comes to white supremacy and racism and then suddenly
Liz: wait. we're talking about people racism and not like feet races right?

Vegas

Thu, 10 Nov 2011 23:00:22 -0500

Liz: Does Vegas (the screen name of our friend victor) live in our state?
Me: Let's think about this liz. What's his name?
Liz: Vegas.
Me: Right. His screen name is Vegas.
Jorden: Everyone calls him Reno
Liz: Oh so he lives in Pennsylvania.
Me, Vegas, and jorden: -silence-

Jews

Sun, 06 Nov 2011 18:56:57 -0500

Me: My first born's name shall be Ezio auditore Ibn La Ahad Dragborn Skyrim Piercraig (insert husband’s last name)
Liz: Sounds Jewish. What language do Jews speak?
Me:/facedesk
Liz:Do they speak english except like Jewishy or like German or something.
Me:Oh liz..
Liz:WHAT DO THEY SPEAK?
Me:words
Jorden:They speak english just like everyone else Liz. Have you ever heard someone jewish speak another language?
Liz:I've never heard a Jew speak at all.
Me:that's because jews have ascended into a higher state of being and communicate telepathically, liz.
Liz:Jews.... we have jews at our school I bet. Does that mean they can cheat on tests?:D

All of us: /facepalm

corn

Wed, 26 Oct 2011 20:26:59 -0400

Liz: Tori, does ketchup have corn syrup in it?
Me: I don't know liz, why don't you read the bottle?
Liz: Because if it does, that means it has corn in it and corn grows on trees.
Me and Jorden: -silence-
Liz: NO WAIT. I MEANT STALKS.

Math

Sun, 16 Oct 2011 22:18:04 -0400

Liz: What does circumference mean? Because I know that it means that it's 360 degrees around the whole circle. And I know a dia-meter i mean diameter is half way through a circle.
Jessy: So what's left liz...?
Liz: another half of the circle?
Jessy: which is..
Liz: I don't know.

me and jessy face palm.

The alphabet

Sun, 16 Oct 2011 18:50:50 -0400

Liz: does H come after G
Dad: really?
Liz: SHUT UP I DON'T KNOW MY ABCS THAT WELL
Dad: YOU CAN SPEAK FRENCH BUT YOU DON'T KNOW YOUR ABCS?!
Liz: I don't even know my ABCs backwards -starts reciting them backwards-
Jorden: Oh boy. We'll be here all night.

gone with the wind?

Tue, 27 Sep 2011 18:29:32 -0400

Liz: you watched gone with the wind? -laughs-
me: yeah, i'm still watching it.
liz: how long is it?
me: 3 hours
liz: well...what's it about?
me: ..you probably wouldn't like it. it was made back in like 1939 and it's about georgia
liz: who's that -stares-
me: -slowly turns around-

Ingles

Fri, 08 Jul 2011 17:33:45 -0400

Liz my friend and I were people watching in our local grocery store, and we laughed at my dad. Later as we were walking out of the store dad says

“What were you all laughing about? You looked like a jackass eating briars”

Liz: “Isn’t that cannibalism?”

Me and dad just look at each other slowly and walk to the car.

India

Sun, 01 May 2011 09:57:05 -0400

Liz: “quick GIVE US SOME TRIVIA. WHO’S SMARTER?!”

me: “….where is India located…?”

Karian: ” South am-er-eeka”

Liz: “AFRICA.”

me: -just staring-

Liz: “i’m telling you, it’s africa.”

Karian: “SOUTH AM ER EEKA!”

liz pauses for a moment then ” OH I GET IT, YOU’RE SAYING SOUTH AMERICA. India is in canada.”

I finally give up and show them that India is not located in ANY of the places they said.

Barbie

Mon, 25 Apr 2011 20:35:42 -0400

Liz and her friends were talking about how women are seldom seen working in construction

Liz’s friends: “You never see girls building houses”

Carianne: “The creator of barbie built the barbie house and she’s a chick right?

Liz: “But Barbie can’t build a house cause she’s a doll.”

/facepalm

Torchwood

Mon, 25 Apr 2011 20:32:03 -0400

Commercial: “The last human on earth died today at 10:46 pm”

Liz: “BUT THERE ARE MORE PEOPLE ON EARTH THAN THAT!”

Minecraft

Sat, 23 Apr 2011 22:05:22 -0400

So, I let Liz play on my Minecraft account, and she had gotten lost and forgot where her house was, so she killed herself in the game to spawn back in her house. The game spawned her in a completely different area and said that her bed or new spawn point had been obstructed.

Liz: “I don’t even want to live anymore.”

IQ

Sat, 23 Apr 2011 22:02:08 -0400

Liz: “Toooorriii, Coach Whitley said I have an IQ of 68! Is that bad?!”

Sheep

Sun, 03 Apr 2011 12:46:49 -0400

I was taking Liz to school the other day and as we pass a sheep pasture, liz shouts,

“HOMO FERENS SUM”

me: “What…?:”

Liz: ” It means ‘I am Iron man’ in latin”

me: “So you shout it at the sheep?”

That noise

Sun, 03 Apr 2011 12:41:35 -0400

Dad walks into the kitchen to turn on the oven fan and make biscuits and gravy. This freaked liz out.

Liz: “Dad! Dad what’s that noise?!”

Dad: “What noise?”

Liz: “It…sounds like a fan.”

Dad: “Oh. It is a fan”

Grand Canyon

Thu, 03 Mar 2011 21:29:20 -0500

Liz and I were watching the movie Due Date with dad one night, and one of the guys asked if the Grand Canyon was man made and the other told him no.

Liz: “Wait….is it?”

Snakes

Thu, 24 Feb 2011 21:14:00 -0500

After a commercial about a snake crawling on this woman, Liz says

“I wouldn’t let no stupid snake crawl all over me.”

Liz owns a python.

She finally realizes that she has a snake and says :”My snakes not dangerous! and he doesn’t count!”

Robert says : “Liz. Your snake is a python, one of the most dangerous familys of snakes on the planet.”

Liz: “He still doesn’t count.”

Title.

Tue, 15 Feb 2011 21:37:00 -0500

I told Dad that I was going to make him a website as well, and the title was going to be one of his famous lines. And liz goes,

Liz: “Well mine just says wait, what?”

Me:” Yeah like…Wait…what did you just say?” I was trying to help her understand why I titled her page that.

Liz:” That’s what I said. Wait what?”

Me: “I know. I’m explaining why I said, wait what.”

Liz: ” THAT’S WHAT I JUST SAID.”

I gave up.

Coke

Tue, 15 Feb 2011 21:32:00 -0500

Dad asked liz to pour him a half glass full of coke. So liz comes back 5 minutes later and hands him the glass.

dad -takes sip- “Dear God. what is this? flat crap?”

Liz: “I couldn’t find coke so i gave you rootbeer.”

Dad walks back to fridge and holds up coke bottle

Dad: “Gee liz. I guess the bottle that read Coke was really elusive!”

please click where is says, "full photo set"

Tue, 15 Feb 2011 21:19:00 -0500